If you are looking for random things to say to confuse people or to be funny you have come to the right place.  Below is Bergeron’s growing list of funny and random things to say to just about anyone anywhere in the entire universe.

Most Random Things To Say

  1. My teeth itch
  2. When in a grocery store ask the clerk “do you have Prince Albert in a car?”, if they say yes, tell them to let him go.
  3. Chocolate milk comes from brown cows you know.
  4. Never play golf with a doctor who wears green socks.
  5. My nipple is broken.
  6. My eye socket is warm.
  7. Do you eat other peoples hang nails?
  8. Have you ever tried sleeping in water?
  9. Why aren’t shorts half the price of pants?

Funny Things To Say In A Conversation

  1. When asked a question where you know the answer is yes, instead of saying yes, say “Does the Pope wear a tall hat?”
  2. If you are driving down the road and pass a field with hay bales laying in it, point at the field and yell “Hey”.
  3. Go into a pet store and ask them if they have sloths for sale.
  4. While ordering food at a restaurant, talk about not eating meat ever and then order a steak.
  5. While ordering food at a restaurant, ask the server for their top two dishes they like (or that people or), then choose something completely different.
  6. Why are apartments called apartments when they are all stuck together?
  7. Why are jumbo shrimp so small?
  8. What’s your favorite my little pony?
  9. Can vegetarians still eat animal crackers?

Funny Random Things To Say In Text

  1. Just text someone a random word and see what happens.
  2. Send a text message to your phone number but increase the last digit by one (your text friend.)
  3. Start a group text with random phone numbers and start talking about a serious problem you have.
  4. Send someone a text of a lottery ticket and tell them you just won $1,000,000.

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